A small advise for a person with the Asperger's syndrome.

Some popular writers are preaching that we are bad with social skills, too straightforward, unable (I could say rather unwilling) to pretend and follow social conventions, but we are good at systematization. So, lets do some systematizing.

What you are right now, reading this sentence is a product, a running total of your genes and all the experiences what happened to you up to this moment in your environment. This does not mean that you are a mere set of genes, or a bunch of experiences or a conditioning of that environment. These are mechanisms and factors. What you are is a completely different thing.

Neither of this is fixed. Nothing is permanent. Genes are defaults, with form your predispositions, but they aren't fixed in stone. Almost everything could be altered by changing your habits, your behavior, by changing what you are.

So, most of us were quite anxious in a early childhood, eye-contact with a stranger overwhelms us, a mere a sight of a very old or a sick person makes us feel almost physical pain, without any understanding what's exactly wrong with what we see.

Buddha also was overwhelmed by the sights of an old-age, sickness and death and went to find out some answers. What he found was he himself, he have realized his own Nature, what he really was.

What we think we are is our body and our self inside, our appearance and our mind. That is as if my laptop on which I'm writing this page would be sure that it is a bunch of silicon chips - a processor, memory - hardware, body, and software - encoded algorithms, running processes - a mind.

This is not a bad guess, by the way, and most of people are still thinking in terms of a duality of the body and the soul. They pile up piles of nonsense about some original sin, a guilt which makes self-deception much easy and justifies their suffering which comes from ignorance.

But laptop runs not because of processor or memory, and not because of software processes. It is not a sum of all of these pieces (and of course it is not because someone typing some text in emacs). This is a silly perspective. It runs because of current. It is a running current. No current - it is dead.

Now repeat after me: I'm not all that virus processes in my mind, I'm not the genes, or neurons or tissues, I'm not that environment which presses me, I'm not the bunch of experiences, I'm not even a strange loop inside my head - I'm that current.

I'm that current, which pulsed in the cells of my parents when they meet, morph together, and start dividing. I'm that beating which never ceased from the very first bacteria or whatever it was billions year ago. This means I'm the same thing as that girl's smile, and that bird's flight and that flower's color. I'm that.

I'm not all those virus processes in my mind - conditioned neuroses, anxiety disorders, depressions, dreams and desires. I'm not my health or shape of my body or its fitness or a number representing my age.

I'm not all the stuff inside my head. Not all those memories of the past traumatic events, countless abuses and failures and misfortunes. It is just stuff collected and stored in memory.

I'm not the processes which constantly ruminating all over that stuff, a meaningless activity consuming all the available resources, for the sake of protecting and maintaining itself - the ego. I'm not this sand-watch one could see on the screen or always shining led of an indicator of disk activity. They are the signs of the ego.

What we call the ego is a by-product, a side-effect of misuse of the hardware. A mere virus. Thinking that ego is what we are is the same as to be sure that the smoke which comes from a steam engine is its very essence. It is like trying to find some patterns and meaning in the shapes of this smoke, producing fancy interpretations and sophisticated but still oversimplified theories.

There is no possibility to point directly to the Truth, so we use fancy words and crazy analogies. Truth is about to be realized, to be experienced as an aha-moment, not mere memorized or believed. That is why there are so many words.

Death is not a reboot procedure which kills all those useless processes and removes stuff from memory. Death is the poweroff. When there is no more power in a battery. Reboot is what follows the realization of what you are, that nothing is fixed or permanent, and that all that stuff in the mind just wrong. Not good, not bad, just wrong and useless.

Next time, when you will start your habitual rumination about what happened to you and why, you will find that it is a meaningless question. What does it matter what commercial is running on a TV or on what channel, or what it is about. The idea is to stop watching, to switch off the TV set.

When you switch it off and look around, your will see the sky, and mountains - so called reality. When you just see it, with your mind switched off, your will experience the eternity. There is no time. Time is inside your head, it is a concept of a confused, self-preserving mind, the ego, which counts itself. In the reality around there is no one-common-time. Sky or a mountain must have its own. That current what you are also have no time. It just is.

Now lets come back from the metha-physical heights back to the basics.

There is no problem if the chips have been thrown for us as they were. Well, we have some genes, some experiences, some environment. This together forms what we are up to this very moment. But it doesn't mean that it is what we are.

We can be to some extent whatever we like, just because we have the same current in us as Lord Buddha or any other person. Well, due to all those factors something might require a little bit more effort, more pain and more suffering, but it is possible, nevertheless. Everything is possible for that current. It could be Buddha or Einstein or just You. You are the same thing.

That difference in the appearance and training as other people are cock-sure defines what we are is just a randomly (well, by the process of evolution and entropy) set features. It is a mere forms and training - shapes, muscles, tissues. It is just stuff.

Well, our mind and body might have illness, deceases which are just a results of a misuse of the mind and lack of balance in the body - the result of bad habits - flawed, restricted, repetitive behavior. So, by changing our habits, by changing our behavior, by doing the new, which we never have tried and by ceasing repeating ourselves, we could, it follows, change everything we wish. We could fix (unlearn) everything. We could re-program ourselves by developing new habits. It is all about daily practice.

We learn by doing, so we could learn anything we wish to the level of an average performer, or, who knows.

So, I'm not even a strange loop, I'm that current, which makes it possible.

Last modified 8 years ago Last modified on Aug 9, 2012, 11:36:01 AM
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